Introduction
Think of a time when you felt the sense of peace that comes from feeling whole, "at one with everything": a moment with a loved one--parent, child, or partner; a time in nature; during yoga or Tai Chi; while dancing or singing.
The notion of wholeness has been talked about by teachers, psychologists, and poets. The title of one of Parker Palmer's books speaks to this yearning: A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life.
3 intelligences
One of my teachers, Ajahn Sucitto who is a Buddhist monk, has articulated the feeling of wholeness as when our three intelligences--thinking, body, heart--are all functioning well.
We find resonance with the three systems in our everyday language: "he's in his head," "she has a good heart," "the body knows."
These three systems are giving us information constantly, and we pay a price for ignoring them. When these three are each being attended to, they can help us to navigate our path in this world more skillfully, more peacefully, and more joyfully. From a neuroscience perspective, we are talking about three distinct but overlapping circuits/networks in the body/brain system.
Ajahn Sucitto articulates how this might work when you find yourself out of sorts for some reason. "You start with getting grounded in your body, so that there’s a source of calm. You know where you are. Then through tuning in to the steady flow of the body’s in- and out-breathing, how you are gets to feel good. With bodily presence to relate to, the heart sense doesn’t get wound up in its emotions, and how we are doesn’t solidify into 'who I really am.' Then there can be empathy with others rather than projections and reactions. We’re less needy and therefore less disappointed by other people being the way they are. There is presence, empathy and clear thinking, and they support each other."
Embodied awareness
I had been meditating for many years until I began to understand the difference between cerebral awareness and embodied awareness. I might pay attention to my body when meditating, doing a body scan, but during the day much of my mindfulness was thinking about being mindful. Because I still get irritated easily at small things like a long line in a store, at some point I learned to feel the irritation in my body. My shoulders were usually tense or my face was contracted in a scowl. Sometimes I focused on those sensations and sometimes I just breathed, and the shoulders relaxed by themselves and the face relaxed.
However, Ajahn Sucitto also talked about "bodily sense." By this he meant the body’s inner sense, not the sensations that come from contact. This goes back to a metaphor I have used before: zoom lens and wide angle lens. For years, when I listened to my body, it was a zoom lens focus; in the past few years, I have learned to widen my focus to the whole body. Sucitto talks about feeling tense or feeling relaxed, that’s a bodily sense. "It’s not focused on a particular point, it’s a reference to the whole; and it connects to the emotions. When you feel welcome and when you feel rejected, there’s a bodily sense there...you can feel certain energies shift in your body."
That was helpful to me. Often times, when I am irritated or out of sorts, I might zoom in, but other times I will now 'step back' and feel the tension or irritation--sometimes it's almost like feeling it flowing through my body. Having a variety of ways to pay attention to the body has also been helpful because it's easy for any practice to become routine and mechanical.
Speed and volume of the systems
One of the more helpful elaborations from Ajahn Sucitto was his assertion that the thinking system is generally faster and louder than the two other systems. Our bodily intelligence is generally slower and softer, except in acute situations like appendicitis. Similarly the heart is generally slower and softer, except in acute situations like grief.
I found this helpful because I realize that often my awareness of my body and heart is drowned out by my domineering head, who thinks it is the CEO of the system and the other two are inferiors. So I have learned that when I slow down to check in with these three systems, I talk to my head--I acknowledge that it is valuable for certain things, like solving and fixing problems. Then I tell the head, in these situations that it is last in line. I listen to my body first, and then my heart, and finally my head.
Example: Everyday irritation
For example, irritated that the grocery store is packed, stuck in traffic, or when something I bought doesn't work the way it is supposed to.
Body: noticing the feeling of irritation in my body, aware of the wild impulse to slam my cart into the cart in front of me that is blocking the aisle, or to yell at the person who is going too slowly. If I'm still irritated, then breathing slowly for a few breaths.
Heart: The attention to the body generally pulls my head out of my butt and I remember these are human beings just like me.
Mind: I ask my head, "so what's going on?" With a calmed down body and an opened heart, my mind has more clarity and says things like: too much caffeine today? You are overextended. When was the last time you went to the gym?
Example: Exhausted from being sick for weeks or my partner being sick
Body: Feel the exhaustion and the sense of depression setting in. Breathe.
Heart opens: compassion for myself or for my partner. Sure, I'm tired from doing most of the housework and cooking, but she's been sick.
Mind: With the softening of the body and the opening of the heart, my mind can remember things that are helpful: This won't last forever. It could be worse. Many other people have a cold or the flu or their partner does, and they usually survive.
Practices to help develop and balance the three systems
It goes without saying that the practices below, in reality, are not just directed toward one of the intelligences. However, I think it is helpful to articulate different types of practices that are helpful to incorporate. Some are daily practices and some are occasional. The important point is practice!
Thinking: Daily mindfulness meditation is helpful for keeping my thinking intelligence balanced and seeing more clearly.
Bodily: There are many practices that invite or require embodied awareness while doing them: Yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi, Qigong, dancing, out in nature, etc.
Heart: Making gratitude, compassion, and/or loving-kindness a daily practice.
May all beings be happy—and a Happy New Year to All!
Next week
I had intended this week’s post to be about New Year’s Intentions (as opposed to Resolutions). I pick one or two intentions each year to bring mindfulness to, and have found doing this to be transformational. However, I have incorporated the three intelligences to my New Year’s Intentions, so I wrote this post first.